Today is the last day of January; the end of the first month of 2016. I am certain that there are plenty of people feeling guilty today because they have already neglected their New Year’s resolutions. It’s an easy fault. We start a year with hope and intention but lose our way on diligence and follow-through. This week, Jordan diligently followed-through on her intention to have surgery on her feet; an act of courage dedicated to the hope she has to walk more and use the wheelchair less.
The surgery went well, especially compared to the similar procedure Jordan endured five years ago. Back then, she suffered for several days in excruciating pain. While this surgery was equally invasive and potentially painful, the team relied upon an innovative pain management protocol that has kept Jordan relatively comfortable. Although “relatively” is open to interpretation.
My girl’s resolve humbles and inspires me. We gave her every opportunity to delay or bow out of this surgery. We told her this was her decision. Candidly, I confided that I didn’t want her to do it. I didn’t want her to suffer again. But she was committed. Watching her in pre-op, relaxing as best she could whilst nurses and doctors prepared her body for four hours of surgery—it made my heart swell. If she had an ounce of fear, you would be hard-pressed to sense it. Of course, I’m sure she was afraid. She’d done this before. Courage, as they say, is not letting the fear stop you.
Friday night, after we read a chapter from Emma together, I commended her on her strength. She was lounging in her bed with her plaster-cast feet propped on pillows.
“I’m proud of you for being so strong,” I said. “I’m not sure I could have done what you did.”
She replied, “Why wouldn’t I choose to be better?”